The Five Types of Valentine’s Sceptics

Valentine’s Day is here. To everyone who is celebrating, have a great time. And everyone who isn’t, what’s up yo?

Definition of a Valentine’s Sceptic: A person who does not celebrate Valentine’s Day or/and is strongly against it. He/she has an inhumane urge to get people to agree with them. He/she is also guilty of judging all lovers who decide to paint the town red.

In honour of such sceptics, I present to you five different kinds of them:

  1. Love, Always: You are up for a long profound speech if, God forbid, you decide to wish this person a Happy Valentine’s. Didn’t you know that love is divine and is supposed to be celebrated all year round? Why would you assign only a day to celebrate something as noble as love?
  2. Too cool for school: This person grew out of the whole shindig one day and is always surprised that you didn’t. Now that they have evolved into responsible adults, they just don’t have time for such childish nonsense.
  3. The Marketing Genius: This person will tell anyone and everyone who will listen how this day is a huge marketing gimmick. If you still stand unconvinced, get ready to hear the “average annual Valentine’s Day spending”.
  4. Provoked: This person is neutral up until a week before the Valentine’s Day. After being flooded with adorable pinks and cute reds on the social media for a whole week, this person will eat you if you show up wearing red and then throw up (because blood=red, duh!).
  5. The Culture Preservationist: This person has taken upon himself to eradicate the evil that the ‘western influence’ is. He/she will go to any lengths to do so, sometimes even beating the hell out of people. Their ‘culture’ apparently does not involve morals.

PS: I am three out of the five above.